Mother’s day is typically a day where mothers around the country are honored by their children. Breakfast is served in bed, feet are massaged, the trash is taken out — in other words, it’s a day where mothers get to take the day off as their husbands and children pamper their every desire. While everyone else is honoring their mothers with gifts and compliments you have very different plans — you intend on finding your mother because you’ve been separated from her for years.
Perhaps your mother put you up for adoption when you were little. Perhaps you quit talking with her because you didn’t have the best relationship. Perhaps she abandoned your family at some point. No matter the reason why you separated from her if you’ve been experiencing strong emotions about reconnecting with your mother now’s the time to reach out and find where she is.
The information you should be looking for
Reconnecting with your mother can be an emotional experience. You may learn a few hard truths as you continue to dig deeper into her whereabouts. Here are a few things you might learn about your mother:
- Whether or not she has a new family.
- Whether or not she has any hereditary health issues.
- Why she ultimately left in the first place.
Before starting your search, you should make the decision of whether or not you’re ready to accept the complete truth. You may find a few things that will be hard to bear. However, the risk you take may be well worth the effort if you’re able to reconnect with your mother.
With that being said let’s jump into the process of actually finding your mother. With the right tools, the process of locating your mother may be easier than you think.
How to locate your mother
The first stage is to gather information. Write down her name, age, and the state where she last lived. This information will be more than enough to get you started. If you don’t have that information try asking your other family members. If that fails, you can glean the information you need from your own birth certificate. Even if it’s not entirely accurate at least it’s a lead you can follow.
If you’re unsure of your mother’s age, try to take a guess based on the day you were born. You can also take your father’s age into account. There’s a good chance your mother and father are around the same age give or take a few years. However, this isn’t always the case, so be wary of that. Even if you can’t remember her age, you can still move forward with your search. Just gather what you can and move on to the next step!
Running a background check
Now it’s time to take a trip over to IDtrue and run a background check. The most pertinent information you can have for this process is your mom’s first, middle, and last names as well as the state where she last lived. This will help to narrow the search results.
Even after running the search you may find that your mother hasn’t popped up. That could very well be an indication that some of the information you have is wrong. If you run into this situation, you may have to take different measures to find the information you’re seeking.
You can try running a background check on your mother’s neighbors, family members, and friends including yourself and your father. You’ll eventually be presented with a list of family members for each person you search. If an unknown female name pops up, there’s a possibility it may be your mother. It certainly doesn’t hurt to do a bit more investigative work to find out the truth!
What kind of information will appear during a background check?
After your search, you’ll be presented with a long list of information. This will include:
- Contact information – email addresses, phone numbers, etc.
- Aliases – Perhaps your mother is using a nickname. She may have even legally changed her name.
- Related people – Relatives you may have no knowledge of.
- Location history – Information pertaining to current and past addresses.
- Criminal history – Does your mother have a criminal history? All of her offenses should appear here.
- Social media profiles – Does your mother have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or any other social media accounts? If they appear here, you’ll be able to learn more about her before reaching out.
Background checks will reveal a wealth of information about your mother. You may find things to be proud of. Perhaps she’s a doctor or a lawyer. Perhaps she’s a business owner. With that being said, she may have done things you might not entirely be proud of.
Maybe she committed a shameful crime. Maybe she’s bankrupt for making poor financial decisions. What you find here will help your decision on how to reach out to her or if you should reach out at all.
What should you do once you’ve found your mom
Let’s say your mother pops up during your IDtrue search. What should you do next? Well, do your best to reign yourself in. It would be a bad idea to show up at an address and confront her face to face.
Feel out the situation by sending a Facebook message or email. Start with messaging first. Calling may lead to emotional outbursts that may sour your reunion. As you construct your message make sure you let your mother know precisely why you’re contacting her. Perhaps you want to know why she left. Perhaps you want to reconnect with her. Make sure your feelings come through your message.
Be mindful that your sudden message will serve as a great surprise to your mother. Imagine if your long lost child suddenly contacts you out of the blue! What would you feel? How would you react? Be considerate and give her time to process a proper response. Don’t be surprised if she doesn’t respond back right away. Your mother may need some time to process this new variable in her life.
What do you do next?
At this point, it’s up to your mother whether or not she wants to meet. Don’t pressure her. She has every right to keep your relationship long distance in the beginning. Give her time to warm up to the idea of meeting with you face to face. Even if she’s unreachable at least you’ll have peace of mind because you’ve had your questions answered.
Regardless of what you do, running a background check with IDtrue’s database will give you all the answers you seek and more. Hopefully, you’ll be able to reconnect with your mother and rebuild your relationship.